The Top Reasons You Didn’t Watch the Oscars

“The Oscars” aired last night on ABC. But you couldn’t have cared less. Here are The Top Reasons You Didn’t Watch the Oscars.

#5 They’re just going to trash Donald Trump. And you get enough of that from coworkers. Family. Grocery clerks. Baristas. Your minister.
Your kids’ teachers. The dog. You get the point.

#4 The only three things you’ve ever seen outside a city in Missouri are meth addicts.

#3 You didn’t go to see any of the movies that were nominated this year. And that was due to a judge issuing you that house arrest thingy.

#2 You think “Justice League” got snubbed for Best Picture.

#1 It’s not as much fun to watch Meryl Streep lose as it is Tom Brady.


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