The Top 5 Reasons You Should Stay in Bed Today

Since today is Blue Monday, supposedly the saddest day of the year, it’s the perfect time for this list of The Top 5 Reasons You Should Stay in Bed.

5 Nothing good ever came from putting on pants.

4 You’re all out of booze and too hung over to go to the liquor store.

3 Netflix ain’t gonna binge itself.

2 Even God took a day to rest . . . and order a burrito supreme on Grubhub.

1 You’re good at celebrity impressions and today’s is Phil Spector.